How to cooperate with crisis as a gift of grace

Continued from previous posts: So, when you come to the Wall, you will need to cooperate with the crisis as a gift of grace, as painful as it may be, as demonic as it may seem. For behind it (while not necessarily orchestrating it) is the Hand of God, guiding you to a new awakening to your life in Christ.

Again, as in Stage Four (in fact, all the higher or deeper stages), you will need guidance, spiritual direction from a competent friend, counselor, or pastor---someone who's not threatened by your questions and frustrations, who won't try to fix you, but who knows there's a mystery at work within you and who can hold you in faith as you journey forward past your fears into the newness of God. But here at the Wall, it's your spiritual practices, especially interior prayer, meditation, and contemplation that will see you through to the new you that awaits you on the other side.

When you emerge from this confrontation stripped down, leaner, cleaner, and more open to love---and if you have found a way to release your need for control and to play God---you will be able to say: "What I thought, I needed I don't really need. What I was sure I couldn't live without, I can live without. With God alone I am content." You will be able to say with Jesus, "Lord, not my will but yours be done" (Luke 22.42), and with Mary, "Let it be with me according to your word" (Luke 1.38). This is true spiritual freedom and readies you for the new outward engagement with mission and ministry that is Stage Five.

Facing the Wall doesn't mean that you're now free from the impediments and distractions, the temptations and seductions that hinder your relationship with God. But it does mean that you now know how to face them when they come.

to be continued . . .

A feminine window on the Incarnation of God

Here's a needed counter-testimony to the often thin preachments of male preachers who can never put the Incarnation in these terms.  This is exceptionally good material for re-encountering Christmas, especially if you're a woman all to familiar with the ways we men have spun this Mystery. . . . And yet my body had taken over and all we could do, all I could do, was surrender to that moment fully. Every muscle in my body was focused, my entire world had narrowed to that very moment. And then there he was, born while I was leaning against our old truck, standing up, into my own hands, nearly 9 pounds of shrieking boy-child humanity, welcomed by my uncontrollable laughter and his father’s uncontrollable relief-tears. A few people applauded.

birthThere wasn’t anything very dignified about giving birth.

And yet it was the moment when I felt the line between the sacred and the secular of my life shatter once and for all. The sacred and holy moments of life are somehow the most raw, the most human moments, aren’t they?

But we keep it quiet, the mess of the Incarnation, because it’s just not church-y enough and men don’t quite understand and it’s personal, private, there aren’t words for this and it’s a bit too much. It’s too much pain, too much waiting, too much humanity, too much God, too much work, too much joy, too much love and far too messy. With far too little control. And sometimes it does not go the way we thought it was supposed to go and then we are also left with questions, with deep sadness, with longing . . .

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The role of personal crisis in the spiritual journey

Continued from previous posts At some point, usually initiated by a personal crisis or some other challenge, you will be brought face to face with a confrontation between your will and God's. Some have called this experience, "The Wall" (see Janet Hagberg and Robert Guelich in their book, The Critical Journey).

In this confrontation, a subtle idolatry is exposed---an idolatry you've been able to cover up until now, that's remained hidden from your eyes, thought you've been bumping into it for quite some time. The idolatry is this: you want God so long as you can have God on your terms, so long as you really don't have to change in the deep places of your life, so long as you ultimately remain in control. This is, in St Paul's words, "Having a form of godliness but denying its power" (2 Timothy 3.5). It is the avoidance of the Cross of Christ. You can believe in all the Cross teaches about sin and salvation, but mere belief isn't what the Cross is all about. The Cross aims at your salvation, your transformation, your death and resurrection spiritually. You must experience the Cross yourself.

When you hit the Wall spiritually, the Cross is no longer an idea or doctrine, something that happened to Jesus long ago. You are united with Christ in his death, and you---if you walk the way of the Cross---will be united with him in his resurrection. Here you release your ego, your false and fallen self, which has tried to play God for too long now. And if you do, you will awakened to a face of God that you've not known up to this point, a depth of intimacy you've only longed for.

to be continued . . .

After Second Awakening what? Advancing in your spiritual journey

Continued from previous posts The fourth stage in the spiritual journey will carry you deeper into your heart. At Stage Four, you're invited by the Holy Spirit to turn inward in order to awaken to the depth of interior intimacy with the Holy Trinity. This doesn't mean you've not tasted God until now. But it does mean that your relationship is moving to a different level. At this stage, you're discovering God all over again. I wrote extensively about this stage last month's newsletter.

Stage Four, "Second Awakening," is a deepening of your experience of the presence of God, but that doesn't mean it's easy. As in any relationship, there are real challenges as the relationship matures. You are not yet who God's destined you to be and God is different from what you once thought God to be.

This tension can cause disillusionment with God, church, and yourself.

Disillusionment with God doesn't mean God is insufficient or the church is failing you; it means, rather, that you must change, and change doesn't come easily because you are now coming face to face with the impediments that stand between you and the God who loves you.

In the posts that follow, I'll describe an experience you will inevitably have at some point as you move through your "Second Awakening."

to be continued . . .

And more on four: what you'll need to move forward

You'll need at least three things to more forward through stage four. First, an awareness that there is a stage beyond Service and Leadership, because without it you'll think something's gone terribly wrong.

Second, patience and compassion with yourself because this stage can be extremely disorienting, even frightening.

And third, a spiritual friendship with someone who is unthreatened by your questions and your expressions of frustration, someone who won't try to fix you, but who understands God's mysterious ways enough to hold you in faith, helping you believe that God is meeting you in the midst of your experience.

A sure sign that you're moving through this stage is the presence of an expanding sense of love, for love is the only thing that can lead you along these later stages of spiritual growth.

To be continued . . .