Rewiring our interior lives is work

The way of love may well be easier than we are led to believe, but learning to internalize love is not so easy. Jesus said “the gate is narrow and the road hard, and few take it.” It’s this kind of work, the rewiring of our interior lives, that he’s talking about. To use the language of faith, this hard road of rewiring is the path of salvation.

If the Jesus story is right, it will require death to something we’ve long cherished, even if it makes us miserable–our fear of being hurt. We’ve internalized the way of suspicion, fear, and withholding. That internalization is part of what the Bible calls sin---the deep internalizing or identification with ways that alienate us from God and each other. Sin may be more than that, but it’s certainly not less.

Discipleship is not merely assenting to doctrines–-thoughts about God. It’s about the internalization of a w/holy different way of life–-the identification of our lives with Another. It is putting off the “old self” and “putting on the new” in St. Paul’s language.

True Jesus said the gate is narrow and the way hard, for “putting on this new life” means that we’re taking a road less traveled, we’re swimming against the current.

But Jesus also said, “take my yoke upon you and learn from me; my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Identification with love, internalizing the way of truthfulness and life, is an easy way when we’ve done the hard work of dis-identifying ourselves with ways that are wrecking us and the life of our world.

Dis-identifying, or turning around and walking the other direction will be hard at first. But when we’ve walked for a while time against the crowd we'll find they’re actually on a hard, hard climb while we’re on a gentle slope downhill.

It’s easier to love than to build walls . . . seriously

In response to the post, What if God is searching for you? Hunter writes, "It's a difficult thing to understand and remain open in the midst of life experiences that can be painful."

Hunter, I’ve borne my share of the kind of pain that could shut me down, make me cynical, closed, even bitter. But I wonder if staying open and vulnerable is really as hard as we often think it is. I wonder if it’s more difficult not to open ourselves; if it's harder to stay closed up. I mean, in my experience, it really takes work and effort to put up walls, grow thick skin. The inner self obsesses, thoughts cycling through my mind.  My mind seems to gleefully enjoy peddling my anxious thoughts around in circles, keeping me focused on being a victim or wanting to have some other reality than the one I'm living.

I find I suffer when I feel I am entitled to some other kind of treatment. I suffer when I want something else or to be somewhere else.  I suffer when I want something other that what is.

I don’t mean to minimize the pain people like you and I face, but I’ve tasted those moments when, instead of being elsewhere mentally or wanting something else, I am fully present, vulnerable, free to live in this moment.  I've tasted remarkable freedom when I don't believe the little stories my thoughts are trying to sell me about myself and others, about my situation, and so on.

Love is difficult because our minds don’t want us to give in to love. Oh, they like the idea, but not the reality. For love by-passes the mind, shelves it for awhile.  The mind must sit before love which welcomes all things trustingly, and desires only what is and not what would be, could be, or should be.

I think it’s actually easier to love than to build walls. It's easier to remain open than our controlling minds want us to believe. St. Paul said that he had learned to be content regardless of the circumstances (Phil. 4). He didn’t allow himself to identify himself with any thought. Fully identified with Jesus Christ–”dead” to his false self–he was free to live in love.

Hunter, I hear some of this is your comment. I hear you inching yourself toward the freedom of love. But like us all, your mind gets in there and says, “Watch out. Guard yourself.”  The little bugger gets us peddling in cramped little circles again, round and round the petty worries that keep us stirred up. It’s little wonder we’re exhausted.  Keeping the walls up around a well-castled self take a lot of overhead.

But when I love, I find I'm never tired.

God meets us in the most surprising places

Much of the spiritual writing we’ve inherited comes from monks and mystics.  Their vision for the spiritual life may inspire you, but it can also leave you with the nagging impression that you’ll probably never find your way into enough open, quiet space to let God find you. You have a hard enough time finding yourself in the midst of the busy, demanding, active life that is yours.  You’re lucky if you can squeeze out a handful of minutes each day to return to the center through prayer and meditation.  Because you cannot withdraw and live a life of prayer, much monastic teaching and most mystic intimacy with God seems beyond your reach, written for someone who doesn’t share your kind of life.

None of those who write anything worthwhile about the spiritual life intend this.  They know that the most humbling and ordinary tasks of daily life matter.  They do not intend to leave any of us with the impression that the real spiritual life is lived in some airy-fairy place of bliss.  No, God meets us in the most surprising of places . . . where we live and work and play each day.

In Jesus, God came among us bodily.  God made matter holy.  God blessed and celebrated ordinary life.  God hidden, incognito, tucked away in the most surprising of places.  God growing in the womb of a teenager.  God born in a peasant’s stable.  God crying, nursing, needing someone to change his shorts.

Those who were looking elsewhere for God’s grand entrance missed God’s humble coming.

Finding God is a matter of waking up

God is as desperate for you as you are for God.  It may even be possible to say that God is as incomplete without you as you are without God. So why is meeting up so difficult?  Why can’t you find what you’re looking for if what you seek is seeking you?

Familiarity doesn't necessarily breed contempt for God, but it does breed contempt for the only place God can be found--here, now.  Jesus says, the kingdom of God is within you--near as the beating of your heart, close as your next breath.  The place where you meet God is so terribly ordinary that you'll be tempted to look elsewhere.

Finding God is a matter of waking up to the fact that you don't need to go anywhere to find God.  The journey is within.

That doesn’t make it easy, but at least you know where to look, and you'll have taken the first step into your own spiritual awakening.

What if God is searching for you?

We often talk about our search for God, and for good reason.  Every human heart seeks after God.  Our hearts, whether our minds acknowledge the fact or not, yearn to experience God in the midst of daily life—whether changing diapers, arguing a case before a jury, painting a wall, teaching third graders, or walking in the woods.  We were made to burn with a holy and playful fire.  Each of us possesses the capacity to live intentional, happy, and compassionate lives in our turbulent world. But all of us live with some measure of hurry and worry, fragmentation and frustration that distracts us and gnaws at us.  Many of us want to pray but don’t know how.  Others may know something of prayer, but find our practice unfulfilling.  If we’re honest, a good deal of our praying doesn’t taste much better than a mouthful of dirt.

So we search restlessly and longingly and find little of what we’re searching for.

But what if God is searching for us?  What if God is more desperate to find us than we are to find God?

Jesus says that God is like a shepherd who leaves the rest of his flock to search diligently for a single lost sheep.  God is like a woman who’s lost a precious coin and then upends the furniture in her house in order to track it down again.  God is like a father who waits, waits, waits for his prodigal child’s return, and celebrates with extravagant joy when we wake up and come home.