Unless a leader knows loss, a leader isn't leading. It's how you deal with loss that matters.
To be united with Christ in his passion means to suffer loss with him. To be united with him, you cannot wield power as the world does. Anger has no place. Controlling others is excluded. Leadership is inverted---the ways of worldly leadership are unmade. You learn to suffer rather than protect yourself, to serve rather than be served, to lose rather than win.
But to what end, what purpose?
Does the end even matter, really?
No, worry about the end and you're already trapped. Instead, you are to simply live as Jesus lives rather than to live conditionally---that is, attached to goals, outcomes, some self-invented-end. You are to wield only the power of secret prayer, of a heart united to Love. You are to lead from where you are. You are to be radically present, even to loss. Especially to loss.
So, be present to loss, to pain. Dare this glorious humiliation of yourself, and line yourself up with the true grain of the universe, the real current of creation's flow.