My soul is buffeted, even tormented and mauled by the thought-beasts that try to drag me into the spaces and places outside of me. These spaces are increasingly crowded by obligations and demands and worries---full of thoughts that want to make me believe I'm always behind, never good enough, always living from a deficit. Unless I make space between the me-who-I-really-am and the mind-made-me, the false self constructed by these thoughts, I'll never live well. The thought-beasts will be always nipping at my heels.
This is no way to live.
Today, I'll pass through the narrow gate of my heart. Throughout the day, I'll pause and breathe my prayers again and again, drawing these maverick thoughts down into my heart. They'll meet Christ there.
Perhaps a few will be still, be silent . . . simply be . . . along with the rest of me.
And those that won't? Well, I'll refuse to follow them. I'll let them go, muttering as they march stubbornly onward.
from my journals, September 25, 2007