From my journals, Tuesday, November 6, 2007 I am again humiliated. It's not so much my sins I see but my poverty of love. I enter my heart but find it full of pride, anger, fear, resentment. Where is my Love, my Lord Jesus, who promises to dwell there? Was he ever there? He has vanished? Or, has Love gone deeper in, leading me on, deeper, deeper, past my ego's many layers?

So what am I to do?

Lament my sins?  The obstacles?  God's elusiveness?  My ego's expansiveness)?

There's nothing to be won by this---only the spiral into real despair.

No, instead, love still more. Follow the passion of your heart. Love leads you on; your heart must find the Beloved . . . and only Love can guide you along this twisting path. The saints testify that Love is the only true guide. You can trust them; they've been down this path and found what you seek.