In wordless prayer, my mind began to carry me away, searching for things that would make me happy.   All things I don't have. All the "shoulds" and "oughts" that hound me with the persistence of a pack of dogs. Then suddenly all this cleared and I saw (or rather, felt) the great hilarity of it all. Happiness broke upon me despite what I don't have. Hilarity, precisely because in not having them---those circumstantial comforts, the conditional supports to happiness, the "good life"---my ego was detached momentarily from needing them.

Just as I began to lament this most recent challenge to all my "scripts" (a personal experience of loss), I became aware of the grace in it all---the charismatic, supernatural action of the Holy Spirit to strip me of anything natural, even good things, that might bring me happiness.

When the ego is stripped of all superficial things that usually bring it happiness or comfort, it's natural to lament the loss and become anxious or despondent. The ego is used to being propped up.

But crisis, loss, and trouble come into our lives and can be experienced or received as grace.  They have the power to strip us of the shackles of our lesser attachments.  Then ours souls can soar free into unrestrained happiness.  We are those who can no longer be separated from God by any-thing.

This is true freedom.