Several years ago I told my therapist that I often felt disconnected from my limbs; they seemed to tremble inwardly as if always on alert. They felt to me like the floor rumbling whenever a big truck drives by on the street. It was as if they didn't belong to me at all. Then it was a symptom of stress. But in recent days, I've gradually noticed a new sensation beginning with my heart and the inner chest area. Today, I felt it in my limbs, especially my hands---like a gentle current of electricity. They feel so gloriously alive, as if every sinew and fiber is radiant with life. Aware of this, I feel close to tears. It's as if I am finding myself put back together, as if my parts---so long so far away, always busy elsewhere---have come home. The tears feel like tears of homecoming, arriving at that place of inexplicable peace after a very, very long and dangerous journey.

There is nothing, nada, on earth like this. I have touched heaven. And it is not up, but in.

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AuthorChris Neufeld-Erdman