I'm writing a lot about the role of the ego as you move nearer to God. Unseating the false self is no easy task. For help along the way, here's a top-notch resource from two veteran guides to the Christian inner journey toward the fulness of God in Christ.
James Finley PhD has wrote Merton's Palace of Nowhere decades ago. It's even more meaningful today then when he first wrote it.
"Spiritual identity is the quest to know who we are, to find meaning, to overcome that sense of 'Is this all there is?' At the heart of this quest are found Thomas Merton's illuminating insights leading from an awareness of the false and illusory self to a realization of the true self in Christ.