Psalms, part 2

When you want to ascend too quickly, the psalms will grab you by the heel and pull you back to earth. With the psalms there’s no posturing or pretending before God—no tidy language offered to God, no flowery nonsense. Angry? There are psalms to help you voice your rage. Confused? There are psalms for that too. And there are psalms that’ll give you words when you’re holding a newborn, when your bank account's overdrawn, your lover’s betrayed you, cancer’s trying to kill you, the government’s a mess, or you’re standing in awe before a sunset. The psalms pull all the anatomy of the human soul onto the path toward God—nothing inappropriate, unwelcome, or excluded. They'll penetrate your pretension and puncture your denial; they'll make you more human, and therefore more nearly divine. Pray a psalm a day. If it’s long, pray part of it. And I suggest you chant or sing it. After all, the word, psalm, means “song.” Merely speaking a psalm is inconsistent with its nature—a little like using a spoon as a mirror; sure, you’ll see yourself, but poorly.

There are, of course, techniques for chanting the psalms, and there are many good books to help you. But I urge you to simply try it. Just gently let your voice interpret the words you’re singing—in your own way, a simple, even faltering little tune. Look, you’re not giving a performance; you’re sitting before the One who takes great delight in whatever you offer; and you’re offering these old words just as they instruct you to offer them, as a “new song” rising from your heart (Psalm 96.1).

And as you do, God smiles. Guaranteed.

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Psalms, part 1

In prayer, Christ is leading you up the holy mountain and into an encounter that will lead you speechless (Mark 9.2-8). But you’ll never reach the peaks of prayer without sauntering the well-worn paths through the valleys and along the ridges of the psalms. When you pray the psalms, you’re praying the prayers Jesus prayed. He knew them by heart and carried them with him wherever he went. Praying the psalms involved him in a tradition that was already a thousand years old. When you pray them now, you’re following a path that’s led people up the holy mountain for over three thousand years. Some people look at these old, crusty prayers and think they can bypass them. They want the rarified air, the glorious views, the transforming vision found at the heights of meditation and contemplation. They don’t like paths—they want shortcuts; they don’t want to walk where others have walked before.

In the fourth through sixth century, the deserts of the Middle East were populated by daring and sometimes foolish God-seekers. The Roman Empire was collapsing and many were seeking firm ground to stand on. The deserts became home to some of the wisest, sanest saints alive. But they also held the bleached bones of fools who tried to soar too quickly, pioneering types who thought they didn’t need paths, and figured they could get along without guides. The wise knew better and said so: “If you see a brother trying to climb into heaven,” they taught, “grab him by the heel and pull him back to earth.”

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'Till the mind is ravished

Notes from my reading of the Pursuit of Wisdom (by the author of the Cloud of Unknowing, 14th century), taken during my study at Oxford, summer 2007: "You must gather together your thoughts and your desires and make of them a church, and there learn to love only this good word Jesus, so that all your desires and thoughts are directed to love Jesus alone. And do not fail in this mindfulness, insofar as it is possible by grace and your frailty will permit, humbling yourself more and more in prayer and taking counsel, patiently waiting on the will of the Lord, until the mind is ravished above itself to be fed with the sweet food of angels in the beholding of God and godly things."

The kiss of God

Notes from my reading of the Ancrene Wisse, a medieval guide for anchorites (early 13th century); taken during my study at Oxford, summer 2007. Here's a lovely meditation on the priority of the heart, and the tenderness of the One we seek in prayer:

"'Protect your heart well with every kind of defense, daughter,' says Solomon, 'for if she is well locked away, the soul's life is in her,' (Proverbs 4.23). The Heart is a most wild beast and makes many a light leap out. As St. Gregory says, nichil corde fugiatus, 'nothing flies out of a person sooner than their own heart. . . .'"

"'Do what you should here and you will be fair elsewhere, not only among women but among angels. You, my worldly spouse,' says our Lord, 'will you follow the goats, which are the lusts of the flesh, to the field?'--the field is desire's breeding ground. 'Will you follow goats through the field in this way? You should beseech me for kisses within your heart's bower, as my lover, who says to me in the book of love: 'Let my lover kiss me with the kids of his mouth, the sweetest of mouths,' (Canticles 1.1). This kiss, dear sisters, is a sweetness and a delight of the heart so immeasurably sweet that every taste of the world is bitter compared with it. But our Lord kisses no soul with this kiss who loves anything but him, and those things it helps to have for his sake."

Way

Along this narrow way Jesus said the gate is wide and the way easy that leads to trouble. Most people take it—some willingly, others because they don’t know there’s an option. But the gate is narrow and the road hard that leads to life, and few find it (Matthew 7.13-14).

You know the way—that you’ve risen today to pray is evidence that you’ve chosen to walk through that narrow gate. It is the gate of faith, the interior path of union with Jesus in the Spirit.

That’s all you are to do: walk through the gate into Christ Jesus. Once inside, Christ will guide you along the path. It’s not up to you to determine the path, the scenery, or the speed you travel. Just walk, blindly trusting Jesus to guide you along the way. This is, after all, a path of darkness not light.

Of course, that will bewilder you. Isn’t Jesus the light? Shouldn’t this be easier than it is? Yes, he is the light, but he’s the light within you, and that light makes everything outside you dark. It’s like you’re carrying a lantern through the woods at night. Beyond the circle of light, all is dark, impenetrable to the eye. So, on this path you are blind to all but the light. What’s worked for you in the past—your senses, your experience, your intelligence—won’t work on this path that carries you into the kingdom within. You have only the light of faith. And you must learn to trust it. That’s why this path is hard. But when you’ve learned to let everything else go to gain a simple heart, a tamed ego, and a serene mind, your travel along this inner way will become nearly effortless. You become a simple, easy-going soul—no longer caring where you’re going, trusting your Guide to lead you around the potholes and ditches, and past the wild beasts. You let your love for Christ carry you blindly, trustingly wherever he leads.

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